Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Black Women, my husband left me on New Year's Day, Now Resolution is ruined


Sisters, one of our readers contacted us about her long-time boyfriend leaving her yesterday.  She helped him raise his twin sons, which they both had custody of for the entire 15 years they were married.  Regina (fictitious) She tried to make things work, but he ignored her.  She spoke to him about her dreams and how they were going to have a lot success and prosperity, but he continued to pack his belongings and even talked with his parents on the phone for hours to avoid speaking to her.  Now, she's asking Souls of Black Women to help her hold onto her New Year's resolution, in-spite of him leaving her.

Regina tells us she feels he went back to the mother of his children, regardless of her cheating with his best-friend.  Regina says she remained faithful, although she was not perfect and she just cannot understand why he would go back to his ex-wife.  She admits to making mistakes, such as using harsh words sometimes, but she asked for his forgiveness.  Although, he claimed to forgive her, he still moved out and even communicated with his ex-wife on his cell phone in their living room for hours as she was left in the bedroom, all alone. She shares with us that Larry (fictitious) continued to lie and say he was not angry about anything, but that he needed to move out to go see about his other 3 kids at his mothers house.  However, they do not live with his mother, but with his ex-wife.   He took his twins and left her and never calls to see how she's doing.  Every-time, she calls him, he never returns her phone calls.

Regina says she had plans to make a lot of money and had a strategy to become a self-made millionaire, but now, she works a full-time job and can hardly invest in her business venture.  When Larry was living with her, he paid the rent and cared for her, so she had to rush and apply for jobs.  Finally, she found one in retail, which keeps her on her feet for long hours and she is too tired to study her business venture once she arrives home most evenings.  She works full-time and she feels very worn out.  Therefore, she feels her New Year's resolution is ruined.

Regina, thanks for contacting Souls of Black Women.  We feel very bad your broken relationship, but not so bad, because it's no doubt, working for your good.  However, you need to think about this, you were probably with the wrong man, anyway.  Of course, you need to accept he has moved on with his life, he just does not know how to be honest with you.  Larry is not a real man, because a real man will open up and honestly tell you that he needs to move on.   Instead, Larry has behaved as a coward who is acting very childish, out of bitterness.   Regina, be very strong and accept the fact that if Larry cannot forgive you, that's his problem.  You need to move on and wait on God to send you another man.

As for your New Year's resolution, never think just because Larry moved out, your dream will never come true.  Your dream to become a self-made millionaire will come true, but you need to realize the riches you make in the future is not for you to share with Larry, but for yourself or with another man who you are meant to share your life with.  Your life is not over, just because he decided to leave you on New Year's day. Your life is not over, just because you spent many years raising his twins and never bore his seed.  Your life is not over, just because you cannot find time or have the money to invest in your dream.  It may take sometime, but it will happen.

We just want to give you a tip for your business venture to become a reality.  Some people work 2 jobs, but it can be very tiring.  So, there are other streams you could do to make extra money.  For example, If you have a little bit of money out of each check, save it.  Do you like to cook?  Possibly, you can make extra money by baking pies, cookies and cakes and selling them at your job or in your neighborhood.  You could start a bake sale in front of your local grocery store, but of course, you may need to ask first. You could care for dogs or create crafts and sell them in your spare time. There's a lot you could do on your off days, besides rest.  The point is, don't give up, never give up.  You always have to start somewhere in order to reach a certain point to where you want to be in your life.  

Always remember your life is not over Regina. It's only over, once you give up on it.

Note: All names and photos are fictitious
Source: Creatas

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