Sheila wrote SoulsofBlackWomen.com sharing with us about her son's death. Sheila told us her son was a good child and worked very hard, but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. After her son's death, she says she has lost friends and her best-friend has been going around the neighborhood telling people her son died because he was a drug-dealer, but she says her best friend is lying. She raised her son the right way and he did not sell drugs. Sheila does not know why black women have turned on her, after finding out about her son's death in the news. She says although she lost her ex-husband to a white woman, black women have become her worst enemies. She has had to deal with her son having a bad reputation after his death and even have had to face her son's killers in court. She does not know how to love herself and feels like a failure after being ostracized by black women who have gossiped as though she was a bad mother who never disciplined her son. She shares his father did not even come to his son's funeral and married his white girlfriend on the day of the funeral.
Dear Shela, thanks for contacting our journalists, we really care about what you are going through. Let us start off being very honest with you, many black women are not united as they used to be and this is one of the reasons why many black men have left us for white women and even other races. However, you must make a wise decision to love yourself and forgive them who blame you for your son's death. Even if he was a drug dealer, it is not your fault, because we are very sure you raised your son to do right. Now, you must realize there are still some good sisters; however, the reason why we have it so hard is because many of them refuse to stick together. Therefore, we want you to start a support group for all mothers who have lost sons to violence. Learn to ignore those who are ignorant and obviously do not have a life. Forgive them and begin to be good to yourself and help those who are in a lot a pain like yourself.
As for your ex-husband refusing to attend his son's funeral, but marry on the day of his homegoing, he will reap it. All you have to do now is love Sheila and focus on the good things about your son and use his memory to encourage young men in the black community to love and respect themselves and each other. Since many black women are not giving you the respect and consideration for your grievance, you might as well do good for young black men who will need a mother figure to teach them how to do better in life and say no to crime. Realize many black women who do not love you have missed out on a good person and even the ex-man in your life has missed out on a good black woman. God bless you Sheila and thanks for reading SoulsofBlackWomen.com.
Note: All names and photos are fictitious