Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Black women, my new man is white, an ex-homosexual like me, 'I Love Him'

Black women, we like to give thumbs up to our 45-year-old sister who finally found love, "Carol (fictitious name)".  She says after all these years, she met a man named "Cody (fictitious name)."  Carol says after all of the years of never conceiving a child and being badly mistreated by some black men, she fell in love with her blonde haired and blue eyed future hubby.   Carol, Souls of Black Women celebrate your love and yes, we can relate to your previous pain of enduring such persecution with some black men, whether they were the men in our families, sons of friends or ex-men in our lives.

Carol says she met her new soul mate while leaving a cafe in downtown Dallas.   She accidentally dropped her iPhone and Nook and while trying to pick them up, all of her books came out of her duffel bag.   She felt very embarrassed when glancing up at some customers when suddenly a white hand began picking up and handing her things to her.  She thanked him, but their eyes became very glued and as they both smiled.   Outside, when she placed her iPhone and Nook into her bag, she happened to notice him standing by her side.   He said, 'I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.'   After she replied, he asked her to join him for a cup of coffee, so she walked back inside the cafe and they began to get acquainted with one another.   The more they talked, the more time they spent in the cafe until it was evening time.   When Carol told him she was on the bus, he told her to hop in his Jaguar, but she disagreed to drive with him and enjoy the scenery of the countryside.  So, they exchanged phone numbers and began meeting for dates at various public fun places.  Carol said she had never experienced such good times, it had been about 15 years since she went out on a date and it was never with one man.  Although, she always wanted to be in love again, she never expected it would come through Cody.  She and Cody have been dating for about 6 months now and seriously talking marriage.   Although, she has no kids, Cody has two grown kids from his former marriage. She says this is the next phase of their relationship, to meet his extended family and she is very scared of their reaction, even in this day of many bi-racial couples.   However, Carol says she is very happy and never experienced such happiness when she was dating black men, many years ago.  Even in this time of her life, the old culture of some black women catering to black men who mistreats her continues.

What is so unique about Cody is that he shares a similar past with Carol, he is an ex-gay man, no longer attracted to the same sex.   The only problem is, some of his friends from the homosexual community try to still share his time, although he tries to avoid them.   Carol does not let it bother her, because she sees how he tells them, she is the woman in his life and he no longer wants to spend time with them.   So, Cody puts Carol first and they know she is very special in his life.   You see, this is how we as black women were supposed to be treated by black men, but in most cases, it never worked out that way.   This white man is very unique, because he is not just an ex-gay individual, but he is a perfect gentleman, he opens to door for Carol, each and every time she gets in and out of his car.   He opens the door to his home and waits for her to enter first.  She answers his phone in his house as though she is already Mrs. Smith (fictitious name).  He got on one knee and asked her to be his wife.  Carol saw her half-brothers getting married, but she was never able to be blessed with a good man and whenever a black man proposed to her, it is was never the traditional way.  So, she remained single until now.   

Carol, this love story is a dream come true for you and as black women we can understand what it is like to be mistreated by some black men and not get enough love from within our race even within our families.  Therefore, we want to congratulate you and think your future with Cody is going to be very good.   We do not feel you should fear meeting his extended family, if anything pray before you meet them and just take one step at a time.   Although, our nation is more diverse now, we acknowledge there are still racial issues we must deal with, but the key is Cody being willing to keep your love strong during those difficult times.   That is the key, as a white man is he willing to understand what you as a black woman endures dealing with racial discrimination? We deeply feel he will be there for you.   As for his former gay friends from the homosexual community, we are so grateful you do not fear their communication with him, because he has proven he no longer wants to associate with them, so you have nothing to worry about there.   Furthermore, the fact that you are an ex-lesbian woman and he is an ex-gay man shows how strong your love is and this is why the two of you were meant to be together. Like Mark 10:9 says,  'What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.'

The journalists of Souls of Black Women wish you the best in your new relationship with Cody and may you have a very strong marriage in the future.  God bless you both.

Photo: Comstock, Fuse
All photos and names are fictious


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