Friday, November 2, 2012

Black women, my hair is falling out after I lost my mother and my husband is divorcing me, after I caught him sleeping with the first lady of our church: How can I grow my hair back?

Sisters, one of our dear readers contacted us and informed us that she is losing her hair after her mother died and her husband, "Jeffrey (fictitious name)" has now filed for divorce.   Now, she is left to raise her kids all alone, ages 7, 10 and 13.   Her husband had an affair with the pastor's wife and although, "Sabrina (fictitious name)" admitted everything to her pastor, "Pastor Dumblow (fictitious name)," he believes the first lady of their mega-church is truly being faithful to him and told her the Devil is lying to her.  Sabrina cannot even talked to her mother who has went to heaven and now, while having to face this issue alone, she has even lost her hair.

Many times, as black women we are left to deal with our issues all alone and this is what causes a lot of stress in our lives, if we do not lose our hair, we lose or gain excessive weight while trying to combat an overeating habit.   Our dear sister, Sabrina is in her early 40's and is having a hard time coping with all of the stress in her life.   She wants to keep her shoulder-length hair, but with all of the stress, it just keeps falling out.

Sabrina shared an in-depth story with us, she allegedly admits she had caught her husband in bed with the first lady whom never even apologized while obviously expecting her to keep quiet about her affair with "Jeffrey."   Then, Sabrina goes and confides this to her pastor whom is a rising superstar among celebrity preachers, but he tells her to consider seeing a psychologist and suggest she allow him to pray for her, for the Devil is speaking to her mind.  As black women, this is what is causing a lot of us to turn away from the black church, some ministers do not deal with our issues most of the time and try to cover up the truth by blaming the Devil or insinuating that we are crazy.  Sabrina has now been allegedly fired from her job as the assistant to the first lady, which was giving her a salary of over $7,000 a month.   Believe it or not black women, there are different ways devious people expect you to sell your soul and this is one way, to just continue receiving paychecks while your husband is being shared with a very wealthy dignitary of the black, multicultural church.   Get this, Sabrina told us "First Lady Dumblow" sent her a text that read, 'I was just about to raise your salary to an extra $3,000 a month.' as though she is teasing her, after her husband did not believe her confession.  

Sisters, do you realize there are some scandalous first ladies out there?  It is not just some crooked pastors whom get caught sleeping around with their mistresses and young kids, but also, some of their wives have been just as dirty.   We are now living in an era when there are some first ladies whom are living just like worldly celebrity women, because much like there husbands, they are seeking fame and fortune instead of seeking God.

Sabrina, you are more important than other people's problems.  After losing your mother, do not waste any energy on what is going on with your husband whom has filed for divorce.   If that's what he wants, so be it, but now, you are going to have to get yourself together.   Your husband was never the right one for you, if he has brought hell into your life, after losing your mother.   Although, you feel he may have been involved with the first lady all along, it is still not your problem.   You should seriously think about spending time alone in order to properly grieve over your mother's death.   It is not fair when people cause stress in your life while you are trying to get over the death of a loved one, so if you want to ever see your hair full again, you must get into a very peaceful atmosphere, in order to get away from all of the stress.   You have informed us that you still live with your husband, so we would suggest you taking your savings and immediately relocating to another place, so you will not have to deal with thinking about his affair with this first lady.  You and the kids should go on a vacation and relax.  After moving into your new place, we would also suggest that you prepare yourself for a ministry to help other women whom are in the same situation as yourself, this could help your healing process.   You see, your hair will never grow, unless you move away from all of the problems that is causing you extreme worry in your life.  Pull yourself together and no longer think about your husband, the first lady or even the ignorance of the pastor not believing you, but only think about yourself, so you will be able to pay attention to your children who are also feeling your intense stress, especially after losing their grandmother. 

Specifically to keep your hair from shedding, you need to buy some Aloe Vera juice and spray some on it, 2 to 3 times a week as suggested at LiveStrong.  This will eventually stop your hair from shedding and we would suggest you do not stop this process until you feel comfortable that you are no longer under a lot of pressure in your life.  Now Sabrina, in order to regrow your hair, you can use cayenne pepper (carefully follow instructions in the article) or olive or castor oil, but don't soak your hair with it.  However, the main thing is to not allow these stressful situations in your life to worry you, because you can use all types of hair growth products, but if you do not keep stress out of your life, there is no sense in using any of them.

In the meantime, we will pray for you and your children, Sabrina.   We also pray that your husband and this first lady repents for their alleged affair and just maybe if their secret comes to light, the pastor will have to come to you and apologize for not believing you.  Believe us, the Bible was right when it read, 'everything hidden will come to light.'  Please read Luke 8:17, 'For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither anything hid, that shall not be known and come to light.'

Source: LiveStrong.
 Photo: Photolibrary, Fancy, Comstock

Note: Names and photos are fictitious


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