Sunday, November 18, 2012

Black women, the black church welcomes my ex-drug dealing boyfriend, but not me as an ex-lesbian


Black women, one of our dear readers by the name of 'Carlotta (fictitious name)' contacted us and wanted us to share her story of how a small black church she has faithfully attended in her neighborhood has broken her relationship with the man brought to Christ.   As black women have to be very careful where we attend church, because often times the operation of the ministry can be very bias.  What we mean by bias is. welcoming ex-drug dealers and embracing ex-pimps, but condemning former lesbians and ex-prostitutes as though they are hell bound, no matter how many times they admit God has saved them.   If you want to know why there is so much division among black women and black men, this is one of the main reasons why, when many women get saved from sexual sins, they are hated while many black men are embraced by the preacher and his congregants.



Sisters, this double standard in the black church is very sickening and it is what kills the bond between black women and black men and has been going on for many years. The bias structure in most black churches is what destroys black relationships as it did with Carlotta.   Carlotta tells us a story of how she was so much in love with 'Leroy (fictitious name),' a former drug dealer she brought to the Lord.  Leroy knew about Carlotta's past, but never changed until he joined the church she introduced him to, after he accepted the Lord..   Leroy had even planned to marry Carlotta.  He had proposed and bought her an engagement ring.  After Leroy joined the church and gave his testimony, he became very popular. Carlotta had never given her personal testimony of being delivered from lesbianism until Leroy encouraged her to do so.   However, the church began to shun Carlotta as though she was still a lesbian, but they embraced Leroy as though he was the next biggest preacher.   The pastor, 'Pastor Fishcon (fictitious name)' even rebuked her and continued to shout, 'you nasty spirit, come out of this woman.'  Carlotta explains this was the same married pastor who tried to seduce her, but she kept quiet about it and forgave him.   So, this pastor obviously is not only being bias, he was also jealous of the fact Carlotta came walking into his church with Leroy.  Carlotta has contemplated suicide and does not ever want to go back to any church service ever again and has since broken her engagement with Leroy.     After Carlotta had a talk with him about feeling betrayed by the pastor and how she feels mistreated as an ex-lesbian, Leroy refused to stop going to the church and ignored Carlotta's hurt feelings. The two are no longer together and now, she heard Leroy is now in a relationship with the pastor's sister, 'Janice (fictitious name).'  Carlotta could not believe Leroy is now dating the pastor's sister, after she opened up to him about how the pastor seduced her.

Dear Carlotta, we want to first tell you, you are special in the eyes of God and He has no special treatment in His Kingdom.  God does not love Leroy no more than you.  Yes, there are bias operations within a lot of black churches, but you cannot allow that to weaken your personal walk with Jesus Christ.  Leroy's former sinful life as a drug dealer was just as much as sin a your former life as a lesbian.  We want you to know, God was embracing you when you were shunned by those church people.   Just the way you were mistreated by this black church, there are many other black women mistreated too, they just have not been brave like you to be honest about it.  Let us assure you, many times preachers whom are casting the Devil out of people are demon possessed themselves and this is what we see in this case of 'Pastor Fishcon.'  'Fishcon will be found out, because his lust just did not stop with you.  We feel he is covering up his demon of lust he could not satisfy with you by trying to make a show in front of his church.  However, he will have no good luck and neither will Leroy.  Speaking of Leroy, we want you to know, God appreciates you bringing him to Christ.  Do not allow this complex situation in this black church that destroyed your relationship with Leroy to discourage you from praying for him and even your relationship with God.  It is very wrong how Leroy left you, after seeing how the church rejected you, but Carlotta, you cannot stop serving the Lord.  You must become very close to Him, even after the church has shunned you.  Your courage to continue to attend that church, even after the pastor made an advance toward you proves how close you are to God and how close God is to you, because without Him you would not have ever been able to keep going back there.  However, God allowed you to endure such prejudice, so you can reach out to other people who have been hurt like you. We hate to admit it, but many times when pastors are not called like Pastor Fishcon, Satan's presence is in the church to not only destroy black women like you, but also to destroy relationships and if Leroy could not see the trick of the enemy, then, he was the wrong man for you, in the first place.  Pay no attention to his relationship with the pastor's sister, because it won't last.   God saw how the two of you met and He also saw how the two of you broke up, after attending this church, so you may feel betrayed all the way around, but-believe us, it will not last.  You are just as special as Leroy in the eyes of God and He is not going to allow Him to be happy with this woman, after you were not treated equally in that church.  If you were mistreated by these church people, just how long you think Leroy will last there?  Just because he was not shunned for being a former drug-dealer does not mean he will have an easy time without you.   Just keep praying and release him in the name of Jesus.   When you find yourself, thinking about Leroy, start praising God and getting into His Word.   If Leroy is for you, he will return.  If not, God has a man much better than Leroy who will not mistreat you, after sharing your testimony as an ex-lesbian.  In the meantime, we will be praying for you Carlotta and do not stop serving God. 

Many of you sisters, may have experienced some sort of bias treatment within the black church.  If so, please do not confuse it with your walk with Christ.   The black church overall is not the Kingdom of God, it is just a place where we go to fellowship as believers of Christ.  The Kingdom of God is a place of agape love without any prejudice.   Maybe you have fought depression and no longer feel God is near, because of how you were not loved by the black church or any other church.   Sisters, Jesus wants you to come to Him, regardless of how you were mistreated by those who claim to know Him.  If this is you, please go straight to our Salvation page and humbly give your soul to Jesus Christ and no longer feel as though He does not love you, because of the way some church folks mistreat you.  If this is you, welcome to the body of Christ.   If you are already saved, but feel discouraged because of the black church's prejudice toward you as an ex-lesbian, we want you to take everything we said to Carlotta and be encouraged to get closer to God, no matter how bad it hurts.  

Note:  All names and photos are fictitious
Source: photodisc, big cheese photo

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