Saturday, October 13, 2012

Black women, I Don't Want to go to church next Sunday with my husband, because he's been sleeping with our pastor

Sisters, this ancient issue must die, for too many years some black women in the church have been married to men having discreet affairs with their pastors whom were also respected family men.   One of our unidentified readers claims she does not want to go to church this coming Sunday, because she found out her family pastor has been having an affair with her husband.  She is tired of going to church acting as though nothing happened after finding out about her husband's adulterous affair just 5 months ago.

Now, get this, the pastor is also married a man and he often preaches against homosexuality.  She and her husband both have very high profile positions in this mega church.   Their combined salaries pays the bills and keeps them indoors, but she dreads to get ready for church tomorrow as though she does not know what is going on.  Her husband who is also a preacher does not know his wife, let's call her, 'Sally' knows about his discreet affairs, but she found out when her son came home from football practice one afternoon and saw it all when he approached their bedroom.  'Sally' was out shopping with her daughters at a mall, also getting their hair and nails done when her son supposedly ran up to their master bed room with a couple of his buddies.   The door was a jarred when he saw his father and the family pastor without one thread of clothing on, in an upside down position on his parent's bed.  They were both hollering like two dogs heat and so in depth with lust, neither one of them noticed his son and friends in the doorway. There son was shocked to see what was going on and so embarrassed in front his friends, he could not believe his eyes.  'Sally' explained to us she believes her son, because he snapped a picture with his cell phone and showed it to her and even if he did not have anything to reveal, she still believes him, because her husband has spent too much time away from home, taking trips with their family pastor.

Next, 'Sally' allegedly claims she told the first lady, because she could not hold it in any longer.   In response, the first lady told her to get rid of the photo.  She also pleaded for 'Sally' to keep quiet and just enjoy the rich life of being married to popular preacher in one of the most prominent black churches in the nation.  However, 'Sally' refuses to do so and is considering getting a divorce and no longer being employed at this high profile mega church, although she and her husband are both bringing in six figures every month.  In the meantime, Sally's son, 'Bobby' has moved out with his friend and no longer goes to church.  He wants to confront his father, but his mother told him to wait until after she makes a decision on how to handle the situation. 

This is how we feel 'Sally' should handle the situation with her cheating husband and her pastor.   Yes, times are very hard for black women, especially difficult when we are single. However, life is much worst when we do not confront personal issues in our lives.   'Sally' should confront her husband in private and give him an ultimatum.  Of course, we know it is hard to find a black man these days who will want to married a sister while fathering all black children, but-we must continue to give options, although we may not think we have many choices.  It would be wise for 'Sally' to show the photo to her husband and let him know if he discontinues his affair with their family pastor, the marriage is over.   You may say, now what about her salary as being the assistant first lady of this prominent mega church?   We say, give it up, because if she gets a good divorce attorney she will receive her fair share of assets.   Sisters, we cannot think more about money that takes care of us and our children, if our husband's adulterous affairs is destroying the unity within the home.   Look at how this preacher's adultery caused the son to move out, after being extremely embarrassed in front of his friends?  Now, his father may bring in a lot of money as a preacher, but-he is not showing a good example as a father and a husband to his wife.  Furthermore, he is not teaching his son anything about morals and values by disrespecting his mother behind her back with a man, even if it was a woman.   It's just not right sisters, he is known for preaching against homosexuality and sin in general, but he has been living a double life.   

In this era of such division between black men and black women, we need more black preachers whom are living complete holy lives when they are not in their pulpits.   AIDS is very real, it's still killing our people, no matter how many bi-racial relationships we see and if black men and black women are going to remain together in matrimony, we need to be pure while teaching purity in the black church, which is complete holy living to souls whom are looking to become completely delivered and set free.   It is so important for pastors of today to avoid living a double life that could cause their wives to catch AIDS or any other sort of STD.  If a preacher insists on other men, (single or married) within the body of Christ to abstain from sin, then they should continue to do the same.  

Many of us black women who grew up in the church can remember stories about dead pastors and preachers whom secretly died of AIDS, simply because they were involved with discreet homosexual affairs.  Some wives were blessed to live on, but some died and we see the cycle may never end unless we get more women like 'Sally' to stand up and say no more.

Our sister, 'Sally' is very tired and no longer wants to put up with this foolishness.  All she has to do is confront the issue, which may not be very easy, but it will be much worse ignoring the secret and going to church as though she along with the first family do not have any serious problems.   Usually, the first family, along with the assistant pastor and his wife always face the church like they are on a higher bracket than their church members, but as you can clearly see, it is not so.  Often times, they carry secrets while enjoy their lavish lifestyle from the millions of dollars they receive through tithes and offerings, but really it is so immoral for this pattern to continue while many pastors and preachers are hurting their wives.

In the meantime, we will keep 'Sally' and her family in our prayers.

Photo: ImageState (not real people in article)
Photo: Blend Images (not real people in article)


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