The black church is another place where black women should be able to open up and admit to being sexually violated by her blood related male relative, but often times when she opens up, she is told she needs to forgive. Many counselors of the black church are ignorant, they do not know that releasing pain is not un-forgiveness, it just means the woman needs to release her pain and express herself before she turns to suicide or turn over to demons that will drive her into a mental institution. Therefore, no more should the black woman's pain of being sexually molested be ignored, it does not matter how long ago it was. We need to hear her voice, so she will know someone cares. Most of all, because God cares, so there needs to be those who claim to believe in Him and serve Him to pay attention to this issue, because if you really want to know the truth, this is one of the main issues that is killing many black women, mental slavery of being abused by a black man or several black men in her family. One of the main problems is women who idolize the men in the family who ignore a woman's confession to being sexually violated by that man who is so popular and well liked among kinfolks.
When black women get raped and molested by black men in their families, this often causes them to either become lesbians or turn away from black men all together. A lot of black women who are sexually molested by men in their family feel dirty and do not want to be touched at all. The black race has ignored this issue and this is what has made a lot of black women who are victims, very angry. If you really want to know why there is no unity in the black race among men and women, this is one of the main reasons, no understanding, no consideration and no love for women who have been sexually violated by black men in their family.
So, how does a black woman overcome the pain of being sexually molested by her grandfather, father, brother, uncle or cousin?
First and foremost, a lot of these victims feel as though God does not love them and it is hard to accept the fact that they must believe in God, regardless of feeling helpless when the sexual molestation occurred. However, the first step is this, if you are a survivor of sexual molestation or rape by a family member, you must turn your life over to God. God knew what happened, He was there all the time. However, you thought He did not care, because you no doubt cried out to Him to help you when it was going on, but God saw what happened to you. You must cry out to the Lord and ask Him to help you overcome your pain. Surrender your life to God and ask Him to come into your life.
Secondly, you must forgive that family member who sexually molested you. Forgiveness may not come easy, but if you just say, "Lord, I forgive the person who hurt me." He knows who you are talking about, even if it hurts to say the person's name. When you do that, you are letting Him know, you are not holding any grudges. The Bible says this, Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door (James 5:9). It maybe so hard to do, my sister, but you have got to pray for the person who hurt you, so you can free yourself from what they did to you.
Thirdly, you must pray and forgive those who did not listen when you tried to open up to them. A lot of times, when you honestly trust loved ones, they are the very ones to turn against you, sometimes especially the women in the family for some odd reason. They will support the very people who hurt you, so you must forgive them too. It maybe hard, but you have got to get rid of all that pain, even if it was one or both of your parents who did not listen.
Pray and read your Bible on a daily basis. The Bible says, "Study to show thyself approved (2 Timothy 2:5)." Now, the Devil will come and try to hinder you. He will make you feel as though you are worthless and God does not love you, but Satan just wants your soul, so he will lie to you. Don't be surprised.
Five, every time Satan tries to remind you about being sexually molested or raped, turn on some gospel music, get into the Word of God or watch some sermons. Do something fun that will help you avoid thinking about the pain, you already gave over to God.
Six, do you still see that family member? If so, although you forgive Him, you must keep your distance, so you will forget the past. It does not mean you have not forgiven Him, it just means, you do not want to remember what that person done or even watch how family members ignore your pain.
Seven, create a support group for women who have been sexually molested or raped by a family member. You will be surprised how many women will be grateful to have a support group to release their pain and most of all, you will be able to be honest about what happened to you. Don't forget to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with them.
So let us pray, 'Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for our dear sisters today and we ask you to heal them of any past pain of being sexually molested or raped by their family member(s). Only you can heal them of their emotional pain, because you are God. Jesus, we want to thank you for dying on the cross for our sins, because if you had not died on that cross, we would be able to go on with our lives after we made past mistakes. God, you are so loving, you even died on the cross for those who sexually molested and raped our dear sisters. So, Father God we want to pray for the men who hurt our dear sisters and we ask you to come into their lives and save them before it is everlasting too late. We are your daughters, so we know you hear our cry and we also know you were there when the sexual abuse happened. Dear Lord, we humbly ask you to take away the pain. We ask you to take away painful past memories of the sexual molestation and rape and Lord, we humbly ask you to save and deliver our dear sisters who are not reading this blog and ask you to speak to their souls to surrender their lives over to you, so that they will serve and glorify you and in doing so, you will set them completely free of the memories of being sexually molested, in Jesus name.' Amen.